Back from the DEAD??

A typical sunday over the last couple of years - sleep in till late, laze around, walk around the house half eyed, munch on something all day and end the day with beers!!

"Last couple of years??", that makes one feel so old and even more lethargic on thinking of the same.

So, what was different about the last sunday (10/10/10)??

A passion that died in the year 2008 (the year a beautiful not so old classic motorcycle was sold, Black Venom*) came back alive. 3 days before this, a plan hatched in the back of one particular "old mans**" head. He was alive with thoughtful energy, and all that energy pointed out to his not so new modern day premium commuter motorcycle#. A conversation that bought this out was the thought of taking the plunge and riding one's own motorcycle to Leh-Ladakh. Incidentally this same old man was to take the plunge on a hired classic motorcycle in the month of September 2010, but a schedule at his work place changed all those plans. Disappoint galore, and this old man, grew older when he learnt he couldn't go.

Flowing thoughts of what, when, where, how and why were all abuzz, bouncing in that brain of his at 160kmph*** and a decision was taken. Let it be done!! Let the premium commuter become more than just what it is, but yet retaining its originality, class and overall feel. But here is where the problem is, ideas were galore, but what was really needed and what wasn't was the bigger issue and picture here.

So another idea bounced at the same rate and out came a plan, a Sunday Morning Ride!! It had been ages since this old man had pulled his motorcycle out to go on a sunday morning ride and the thought of it also brought alive the minds of other old men around him. A head count (in this case, more like a motorcycle count) was taken, the idea was spread to those like minded other older men in the same circle. A route was hatched, a schedule was put in and there was a transformation that took place amongst all these old men. The old man inside was shed and emerged energetic young men who were ready to roll.

Irrespective of the super early hour wake up on this sunday, to getting out in the relatively cold weather (even during the beginning of October 2010) and missing out on the warm cozy sleep in late routine, this Sunday was different. 6 motorcycles with riders set off on a rather simple ride, some busy highway and then serene arterial roads that most people probably do not even know off was the route. Great breakfast along the way, awesome conversation all the way, a really peaceful water canal along the way and an even more peaceful larger water body at the end made the ride totally an amazing experience.

As trivial as it may sound, young men do turn into old men and the thought of doing something with passion sheds the old man on the inside and brings them back to life. Its not a thought but a fact that is so true..

Everyday mundane routines and work allow this to to happen to not only the "old man and his friends" referred to here, but people all around you and me!!

*Black Venom - Bullet Machismo 350 5S, that got her make over to a retro stylized classic motorcycle.

** Old Man - A metaphor describing my mental age that comes from various factors of everyday mundane life.

***160kmph - The metric equivalent to 100mph, otherwise in the classic motorcycle era referred to as the "Magic Ton"

#Premium commuter motorcycle - A motorcycle that really isn't your janata two wheeler commuter's motorcycle. A typical definition of any motorcycle in India with an engine displacement of 150cc.

A journey!! A reflection!!

During the month of May 2000, there was this phase where I did not know where I was going in life! No college admission, no part time job and no idea in life generally what, when, where and how!!

Then came along a small workshop I attended, and little did I realize it would lead me to where I am. Literally, as a professional and as an individual being. The workshop led to joining what was then a youth forum called "The Activity", which later on over the years developed into a full fledged company that did a lot of good work in the completely unorganized education sector to create a phenomenon called "Education beyond Curriculum".

5 years ago, when all my college mates were running helter-skelter getting their resumes ready and brushing up on their presentation skills, I was sitting outside at the 'adda' taking in a dose of nicotine and thinking to myself "bah, why should I bother, I already have a job. I was absorbed for a whole lot of reasons (one of them being the part time work and travel that I had done).

The job was fun, there was plenty of travel, plenty of learning and meeting new people. 3 years later the growth on the inside was phenomenal and soon I left behind a lot of people I thought I shared brainwaves with. The hunt for more meaningful conversations and people became important to me. Professionally I grew quite a bit as well, taking on responsibility, making sure I did my job (even if I did not like it or did not giving it 100%)

The year 2007 saw a downfall, I quit in the search for something more meaningful to do according to me. It was the year I made a lot of mistakes. From quitting with no plan in mind to loosing my individuality to something that was totally irrelevant at that point of time. But then a lot of us really think with our hearts more then our heads at times like that. 2007 - 08 led to the downfall of the individual, the professional. In a dire need of something meaningful to do, I started my own little unregistered company called "M I Concepts", the concept of bringing out simple products that would make everyday tasks a lot more fun and exciting. But when something as fragile as the heart breaks, it is a task to try and focus and pick up the pieces and quickly move on.

The possible thing to do was to find a job quick, any job that led to distraction and let life roll back onto its tracks. A meaningless job at a larger event management company. 8 months of forcing myself to work from the basic need of funds led to a lot of serious thinking. Finally on a warpath to want to do something in life, I set out to want to study. Wrong selection of course and wrong ideas in mind I almost gave away 3 years of my life to a college. Thankfully my uncle got me thinking, my mentor got me digging for information and conversations with people in the field led to me give up the idea and get back to doing what I loved doing the most, get back to working for the company that gave me my first jump in the professional world.

A few conversations over coffee with my mentor, friend and first employer I went back to what had transformed from "The Activity" to "EduMedia India Pvt. Ltd." into new role, with new responsibilities, economic requirements as per what I wanted and a team to work with that I had come to know a lot better over the years. There started a new journey again. This journey was marked onto me permanently with a tribute tattoo that took 2 months to design and quite some saving up on my part to put together.

A year later, a good appraisal, some great words and fantastic learnings, I come to realize I have grown as a person in the last 5.5 years with everything that happened - Good, Bad and Ugly. From a jumpy kid straight out of college to a decently composed, mature and responsible being, it has been a journey that I have taken and learnt a lot from. And my journey still continues to bring me more learning and a lot more reflections...

This too will pass!!

A very interesting phrase I came across over the last weekend as part of a training workshop I attended along with my colleagues from office. It was quite an intriguing workshop with a lot of learning on my end that took place at a subliminal level.

The phrase is even more intriguing, it doesn't say much but at the same time it says a whole lot. I have been on a positive energy streak ever since. But does that mean that it shall pass too?

Everything happens for a reason; money, people, joy, sorrow, excitement etc.. all come and go. Some in small phases and some that last really long. Hence anything that stays for however a long period of time, shall pass as well.

Something about the workshop has put me in the same mode "This too shall pass!!". "You live life only once, live it king size" is what most people would say. I say "You live life only once, live it one day at a time; for you don't know what is going to happen next and whatever happens next, you don't know how long its gonna last!!"

This too will pass!!

To BE or NOT to BE!!!

No, No, No.... Not that I just read something from Shakespeare.
You go thru the motions of life seamlessly until one day you wake up and realize something really really wonderful has happened to you. You live your life every single day just to keep that wonderful thing going and going. You give it everything you have, it grows on you day by day & month by month. And then as you go thru the motions of it seamlessly you realize that it is something you want for the rest of your life, it is something you know will keep you happy forever and ever.

Your world changes and revolves around it, everything you do is to keep the wonderful feeling going and going. You pretty much dedicate your life for it, your time is consumed by it, your dreams and visions are all to do with it. Ok, so it sounds looserish, but at the end of it all you are on top of the world, never felt better (at that point of time).

And then one day your wake up to find that for reasons beyond your control it has taken a turn in another direction. You try to steer the direction back towards you but doesn't work and eventually after all that you try to do, its lost. Your world shatters under your feet, you feel lost and hopeless. You think, wonder, cry, scream, curse and go into 'woe is me'.

You remain there for a couple of months unhappy with yourself, you try your level best not to think about it and wonder over and over again as to why, what, where and how. But each time you do, it pulls you back in further into 'woe is me'. But with every passing day the feeling of 'woe is me' reduces and you wake up happy one final day. It dawns upon you that 'Nothing in Life is Constant' and nothing in life comes with a guarantee. "Not even this wonderful feeling" called LOVE.

Life goes one and you follow the motions of it. You move on from one day to another living your life for yourself, being the person you once were and you realize you are happy all over again. But then there is always something missing. An empty space that just cannot fill itself, no matter how much friends and family say they love you.

That is when you start thinking to yourself "To BE or NOT to BE". Fill the space with "To BE" and wonder if all will be fine or whether you will once again fall as hard (and have to pick yourself up again) or "NOT to BE" and just live your life with the empty space (not having to worry about falling and picking yourself up again). But then, for how long?? You meet interesting people, people who find you and you find intriguing!!

BUT!! You think about the space and the question

"To BE or NOT to BE??"

Nothing in life is constant!!

Nothing in life is constant!!

Nothing in life is constant!!

Umm, yeah there is one thing in life that is constant and that would be me (you). Our sense of being alive, our sense of feeling joy/love, our sense of feeling pain/anguish/hatred and the sense of knowing that there is something happening to you all the time.

Life still goes on, passes you at a pace where you are either ride side by side or you just get left behind to pick up the pieces, most of the times pieces that you left behind. Some of us pick up these pieces in no time and catch up with life as she races on, and some of us take our own sweet time and yet want to lead the race.

Looking back a couple of months I realize I stopped my race with life, I was happy, content with all that happening around me. I started dropping pieces of my life all over the place. Work, family, friends, love & ambition all slowly one by one starting taking their turns to move ahead of me. First it was work, took the largest step ahead of me. I let it pass. Family stayed there constant with me occasionally leaping ahead but then for some reason I always caught on. Friends some dragged me along ahead, making sure I didn't get left behind eating dust. Love, she just walked on never even once looking back at me to see if I was wounded & in pain. Ambition jumped far far ahead after love never to look back but give me hope every now and then & assure me that she would still be in reach if I tried hard enough to reach out to her.

Nothing in life is constant!!
Nothing in life is constant!! Not even you (me) are constant at any level. No sense of being or feeling will ever remain constant.

Wrong!! If there was one thing constant for a reasonably long period of time, it was my sense of anguish & hatred. With me they were constant, keeping me company in my slow race in life. Little did I know, they were / are blocking my path, the path that would let me pick up the pieces of my life and stay in if not with the race of life.

Anguish & Hatred, take over all the other senses of my well being. Thoughts run thru my head like chaos in a terror stricken world. One by one, systems start falling out of place. Logic looses ground first, taking with it the power of reasoning. This one fall puts all other systems at risk. One by one they overload causing a serious breakdown of spirit and faith.

Nothing in life is Constant!!

Nothing in life is Constant!!

Nothing!!

And yet, we strive to keep up with the race out of fear of being left behind. We fight theses senses deep within giving life a finger in her face, telling her throw what you want at me, I will go down and yet will rise again to give you another one. Sometimes I may rise quicker than you may expect me to and sometimes I may rise at my own pace. But every time I rise, I will bring with me the one thing that will remind me of my fall and keep me going.

Something’s in life remind you of who you are, and teach you how to avoid getting lost in the race. They may leave their marks on you stronger than a flesh would till it heals, but these marks keep coming and going, keeping your sense of a struggle within going stronger and stronger day by day, making sure that if you fall you will find a way to keep your head in the race if not with it.

Something’s in life are CONSTANT!!

Supernatural encounters....

Peculiar, would one say or just something unexplainable??

One week into one of the many work related travels that I seem to have become accustomed to, I encountered the supernatural.

Guwahati was a nice event with pretty decent a response, hence spirits were high and ready to move onto the next city, came across a small problem. In the events line of work, a problem can turn out to be a mishap and escalate itself to heights sometimes beyond reach. This particular mishap was related to the country’s ever growing aviation industry. With small airports in remote locations of the country, airlines have a constant battle for priority for take off and landing.

Hence, the originating flight from wherever it was coming got delayed and I already knew we would miss our connecting flight to the next city, Patna. Well what followed due to the same turned out to be the most interesting day or should I say night of my life. We managed to reach Delhi just in time to see the connecting flight to Patna take off. A mad rush to the airline counter followed by 45 minutes of varied comments between us and them, we got a FREE (that’s right, read in the true Indian sense) stay at one of the better and grander hotels of Delhi, till they could put us on the next possible connecting flight to Patna.

Celebration time?? Yeah, I guess. A welcome break, a nice evening with nice food, couldn’t get better than this. After being checked into the oldest rooms of the enormous hotel, the mood was festive.

Upon entering the room, I felt a massive emotional drain take place in me. I took it for granted that I could be tired and hence the feeling. This followed by a catch in the throat that got worse every minute in that room. Maybe it had something to do with the air-conditioning, so let that pass as well. A call from my colleague from the room next door, sent us to the nice restaurant. A meal big enough for 6 people if I had to say from the servings they gave us.

The strong beckoning of the sandman and a tired body cannot be denied after a heavy and rich meal. So back to the rooms and a little work later, I call it a night. Now, a couple of hours into wonderland I feel a small tug on the blanket. Maybe it was following off, so a tug back and alls fine. The tug takes place again, another tug back. A stronger tug follows a rude awakening from the warmth of the blanket. Curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to turn towards the window (the side of the tugging), and I see a full bodied outline against the light peeping in through the window.

Hallucination!! Not really, I rub my eyes once, twice and thrice and I still see this thing against the peeping light. Instinct would suggest turning on the light. But the instinct was lost against the shock, turning my head away out of fear I pull the blanket back and crawl under it and decide to keep my eyes shut and sleep. The tugging followed and refusal from my end to play along, I fell asleep out of fear. Sure enough the next morning, emotional drained and throat caught beyond belief, I quickly packed up and cleared the room. Not once to turn around to look through the room again. Not so much so to even wash up for the day that lay ahead. A quick knock on my colleague’s room and a message that I would be at breakfast, I think I ran faster than a barn mouse.

Creepy?? Trust me, gives me the jitters even when I think of it even now.

Made Man, wonder it is....

Oh GOD, please help me solve my problem...
Oh KRISHNA, I need your help...
ALLAH, I seek your advice...
Lord Jesus, I wish to be washed of my Sins...

Blah Blah Blah Blah....Well all said and done, we spend our lives dedicated to "GOD"... I'm not against "GOD" or anything but I find it ridiculous to put faith in something so MAN MADE.. First came the thunder and then the rain. Early man had no idea where this came from.. His thought "something up there is angry with me" As time went on, many a wise men coined this "something" GOD.

Further, different civilizations all made up their own visions of GOD. Then they went one step further and created RELIGION. RELIGION further involved as people became more and more fearing of the paranormal force they called GOD or KRISHNA or ALLAH or JESUS or so on and so forth. The wise men then made use of this fear to create faith in their Visions and be one step above the rest. “I converse with GOD” is all they had to say to turn millions into believers of their preaching.

Proof of this came out in the form of the Bible, Quran, Bhagwad geeta etc… These became the guidelines with which one had to live life. These were the guidelines by which Wise men manipulated society into becoming believers and forming a so-called discipline “RELIGION”, only this time with a structured belief system.

Evolution of this led to the internal turmoil that every country had faced in their early formative years. “Religion” was the means to unify the people and the non-believers were shunned by society at this point of time. This led to the term commonly knows as “holy wars” which we all know is used every so effectively in the Political Game played by countries around the world.

Hence we have people like POPE X, GURU Y, PROPHET Z, SAINT A etc etc etc… who are even more influential then the manipulators of Holy Wars.. Out these people go into the world, preaching their learning’s and understanding of these age old religions. After all “OLD IS GOLD” is a saying.
Coming into the modern evolution of this belief system is a newfound fusion of understanding of Religion called spiritual enlightenment. Something that is taking the world up by storm, irrespective of which religion you believe in. The theory behind this new found word is world religion or religion of one. Here as well we have the umpteen numbers of Guru’s who preach on this newfound word as well.

In the back of their heads the immature wise men curse this newfound self-sustaining word. After all its does distract man from mainstream religion. Now understanding oneself can attain spirituality and not sitting and repeating “Gods” name or reeling in his faith for hours and hours on end, hoping that one-day you shall become the enlightened one. All its takes is faith in yourself and not something man made.

Either ways, at the end of it all “faith” isn’t just in something neither man nor the wise man has seen, but something that everyone feels. “God” doesn’t exist just as ghosts and devils don’t exist. But it’s the fear of all the above that make us believers.